Where Have The Years Gone?

As we sat in to have our 45th anniversary dinner with the couple that was celebrating 45 years in marriage, Kenalemang Kgoroeadira and Tommy Kgoroeadira, Baba Buntu put her arm across his wife's shoulder and pressed her tight to his chest (as if to say to the Kgoroeadiras that you've set a good example for us) and then paused the question

"How does it feel like to celebrate 45 years in marriage?"

Beautiful smiles crossed both mama Kena and papa Tommy's faces. And in that very split second mama Kena responded. 

"It feels like yesterday". 

The Kgoroeadiras at their 45th anniversary dinner

You could see it in their eyes without them mentioning it that they were wondering where the years had gone. 

We were at the grass thatched Gazebo of the Bight of Benin restaurant. A restaurant that takes its name from the coast line curve of West Africa situated within the broader Gulf of Guinea that serves delicious West African food. The purpose the family zeroed down on the venue was to ensure that we explore with foods and the rich cuisines from West African countries. Most of us were by now familiar with East African and South African dishes and we were looking for something different. The restaurant's MENU was rich with options of West African dishes from Jollof Rice to kelewele and Moin Moin. 

Moving clockwise (Moses Nathan Muhangi in a checked short sleeved shirt, Siyabongo Lembede in a head sock, Dr. Baba Buntu, Tebogo Buntu, Dr. Kenalemang Kgoroeadira and Tommy Kgoroeadira.)

As the waiter took our orders, Papa Tommy told us how he first met Mama Kena and this was made better by Mama Kena who elaborated some details that papa Tommy had left out. Baba Buntu asked each one of us to give a speech. And the issue of 45 years being such an amazing time kept coming up. We all seemed to say more or less the same things but in different ways.  We talked about how everyone wants to be loved. We also shared on how we have become a society that is not letting any one in because of our insecurities and cause we've grown up in an age where everything is at our fingertips so more often than not we are not willing to put in the work. When we reach out for a relationship and it scares us, we pull our hands back in and move on looking for some easy thrill. Not many are willing to put in the work anymore. And yet the Kgoroeadiras story tells us that you ought to put in the work and the time to really see and love deeply. 

The family was toasting to the 45 years anniversary celebration of the Kgoroeadira.

45 years!! Just to give you context of what 45 years in marriage means. 50% of us on that table were below 45 years and the other 33% that were above 45 years, were the couple itself. In other words 3 of the 6 of us were below 45 years and other two that were above 45 years were the couple celebrating the 45th anniversary in marriage.

When the toast is full of love and excitement

Tommy and Kenalemang Kgoroeadira are South African based organic farmers who founded the Thojane Organic Farm in 2009. In the year 2013, Kenalemang Kgoroeadira was awarded the title of Best Subsistence Producer in South Africa. 

From Back to the front (Dr. Kenalemang Kgoroeadira, Papa Tommy Kgoroeadira, Dr. Baba Buntu and Moses Nathan Muhangi) at the source of the River Nile

The farm business in South Africa is dominated by white male farmers.  There are around 36,000 commercial farmers in South Africa and Mama Kena reminds Africans by action that historically it is the women that always ensured food security in families and communities at the time and she has revived that culture by doing the same for her family and community. 

What started as a small barely two hectares farm in North West Province of South Africa by a PhD student at the University of South Africa (UNISA) has now grown to 26 hectares of farmland and it currently gives local residents access to healthy food. 

The Kgoroeadira's at The Leadership Centre, Makerere University Business School

Mama Kena is building her community using traditional African knowledge in reference to the Indigenous Knowledge Systems (IKS) that have always existed on the continent. And all produce from the farm is grown without chemicals that strip the soil of its nutrients. The Kgoroeadiras rather use organic fertilisers which method is very sustainable once properly managed and used. 

You could tell from Mama Kena's face and her other half that they're living a wonderful life together. Probably a life of ups and downs but one thing was for sure that it is one filled with lots of laughs and happiness. With Papa Tommy's sense of humor, there is no way laughs and happiness can't be in abundance. 

While we had our desert and Ginger juice, Mama Kena requested we play her "Anniversary" by Tony! Toni! Toné! Which we did and the couple sang along with grace. 

It's our anniversary

It's our anniversary

Anniversary

It's our anniversary

It's our anniversary

Made for you and me

If Happy was a family, this is how it would look

And indeed you could see that the day was made for them. We toasted to their 45 years anniversary and our dinner was served.  And the dinner at the restaurant was rich as the Menu was. We savoured flavours from the Sahel, exotic dishes from the Savanna, hearty meals from the Tropical Rainforests and culinary delights and tastes from the Mangroves of the coast.

And that 45th marriage anniversary celebration was an incredibly joyous, beautiful moment full of love for all of us.