I'm A City

I am a city

The city of life.

My heart is a skyscraper with million views

 and my veins are rivers

 winding through tributaries, in search of the pristine ocean. 

I am moving forward,

 but stuck in slow motion.

My lungs are the tree tops,

 dancing with fresh buds of new life. 

The leaves that fall are the breaths I didn't take. 

The wishes I didn't make,

 and the smiles I couldn't fake. 

They are the breaths I lost when hopelessness settled on my chest, 

and the thorn-covered vines of poison ivy 

weaved through my heart,

 choking me with clawed nails and calloused hands. 

I run, and I fall, and still... I don't know how to land. 

Will you ever understand?

My eyes are the windows through which I see the world. 

But they are dirty. 

Smeared with the blood of a thousand insignificant wounds that will never heal.

 Poison ivy clings, cobwebs form, 

the rivers run dry,

 and that ocean; it lies somewhere in the vast expanse of earth,

 undiscovered. Untouched.

 Clouded by memories of smoke and flames. 

The allure that death once held, it remains.

I am a city filled with derelict buildings 

and crumbling walls. 

I'm not asking for much, I don't want it all. 

The dust has settled and formed an impenetrable layer.

 I am a heartbeat. One heartbeat away from mass destruction. 

Can I rebuild and call it, mass construction?

I am a rollercoaster of emotions,

 travelling at the speed of light through grief,

 happiness, heartache, and joy.

My life is a lie, my words are a ploy. 

Someone told me that once. Do they know words can destroy?

I am a worshipping place

 filled with hope, faith, and undying love. 

I am an angel bound to heaven. 

I lost my chance to fly above. 

Through stained glass windows, I see beauty; 

I see kindness; I see compassion. 

In these pews I will wait,

 perhaps here I'll find passion.

I am the midnight sky, 

a curtain of darkness

 through which you will see nothing but the demons who feed upon my soul, 

and remind me, the face I see in the mirror, will never be whole.

But every night when my head hits the pillow, 

and I close my eyes to the world, 

I wander through dreams, and see things you've never seen, 

and I sing to myself, and I sing my own tune.

Because I am the moon.

And I am the sun, and one billion bright stars. 

The creator of my destiny, and the owner of these scars.